My muscles weigh a lot

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. And thats really bad when one side of your bed is against the wall. Fuck. I want to go shopping, that would make me feel better, maybe?
I weighed this morning because I havent in 2 weeks and sadly I found I have gained 5lbs. I am now 285lbs. Fuck again. Whats really fucked up is the hubby and I have been really good with our eating the last two weeks and I'm hiting gym 3x a week. No skipping. Two weeks we've been working hard, cooking healthy, snacking healthy, and yet I see a 5lbs gain. Yes I know muscle weighs more blah blah blah but its so frustrating. I do however feel my belly is smaller and hips too! I feel great from my work outs so I will continue on. I just want to see some data to prove I'm doing well damnit.

I'm going to try this again. I really need an outlet to write and express myself if its a good day or a bad day. My interest are very wide so I cant tell you what will be on this blog daily. It will change just like the wild thoughts in my head.
Basically though I love writing and love the release it gives me. If I cant go get my rocks off with hunky tattooed muscle guys, then I shall write. HAHA

On a different note today I go in for a full physical. I am starting a 20-week weightloss program. In this I'll get help with meal plans and exercise plans. Also, I will have a personal nutritionalist, doctor, and counselor. I reall would love to feel better physically, aka not be out of breath or unfomfortable in my clothes. I LOVE my curves. Shit I'd be cool with a bigger ass and tits! I'd just like to feel better and be more active. Also, would love to lose my belly area. Anyway, this is going to be a fresh start. I will go in weekly to check how I'm doing. Also, my husband is totally on board with this so I'm excited for us both and hope we both see results! Then we can have "skinny sex" LOL

Monday Monday

ah another Monday. Feels just like last week, and the week before that. I'm in such a slump...still. Its been like 2 weeks now. Think I'm going to go to Dr. as soon as I can get in. To bad it will be a total pain to get the time from work since the other girl that does my job is out. Don't even get me started on that crap. Work is pissing me off lately. Just feel like I have no where to move up in the company.
In other news I got stood up TWICE this weekend. FML! This guy, John, we've been emailing a ton and agreed to meet for lunch last Friday. We never set a place, so thankfully I wasn't sitting somewhere alone waiting on his ass. But I didn't ever hear from him Thur of Fri. Then Sat. he emails apologizing, had issues with his daughters school etc etc. So I said ok I'll respond and go from there. We were both kid free Sunday night so I suggested we do dinner. He acted very happy about that and said he'd call at 7pm. NO CALL. NO text. No email. Give me a fucking break now! So needless to say I wrote him a little not nice email since he wasted my time.

More dating crap, a girl friend of mine, Amanda, we just know each other from same friends so we aren't real close. We were chatting last night, shes recently single and on same dating website as me. Well turns out we've dated TWO of the same guys. LOL and she has a girl friend who also has dated these two guys!!! So the 3 of us are going to start cross referencing guys. How sad is that????? I kinda hate it cause she's pretty similar to me. Really shows these two guys like a certain "type" of girl. But I'm the same way with guys, so I guess I'm a hypocrite. It's just crazy how small the world is and how we all really are connected somehow.

So in awesome news my baby boy turns 2 on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where has the time went!!?!?!?!?! I miss him tons today, he's been at Andrews Sat and Sunday. So I am looking forward to his party Sunday! We are having a cook out. I asked my dad to grill since I have no idea how. Thank goodness he will. Times like that I miss having a man the most. I could learn to grill, but its not the same. Just reminds me of Andrew. ugggg Anyway my moms getting Wyatt's cake and dads grilling. All my family is coming so it will be really fun! I stress having it at my house, but its just family so they know my house is small. I also invited Dustin. He loves Wyatt and I love him so I just wanted to invite him. He said he's coming so we will see. It would mean a lot to me if he did.

More crap from last week that happened. I picked up Wyatt from the sitter on Wednesday and she said Andrews GF had left me something. (1st of all his GF is not every supposed to take him to daycare!) She handed me a boutguie of DEAD flowers. Said they were for mothers day ( 4 days ago!) WHO DOES THAT!? We don't talk, we are not friends, we are not even on good terms!!!! So no gift needed, especially not a DEAD gift!! Seriously what the fuck?
I just started crying. My sitter felt awful, I hate that she was in the middle. Thankfully she is awesome.


Ok back to work. I'm going to update this more...per some requests =)
Love you girls!!!!

I'm so exhuasted. I'm over being at work, thank goodness only 10 minutes left. I want to go home and go to bed. Is it bad I just want to sleep at 6pm? Work has been really stressful all week and its only Wednesday. Plus the week is only going to get worse because the girl that has same job as me wont be hear all week because she got her finger bite off by a dog. Crazy, but humorious.

ugg time to go. more tmrw. maybe or friday.

It's Wednesday. YAY 1/2 way through the week. Work has really been draining me lately. I like my job, but some crap I put up with annoys me. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right? In other news I had an excellent night "off" last night. Tuesday nights Wyatt goes with his daddy over night so mommy gets a night off! Its great but 1 night a week is not much when you have a million things you want to do. I usually go to practice, but I wasn't feeling it last night so I went on 2 dates. LOL ya I'm pretty awesome. Is it sad that half of me wanted to stay home, eat yummy food and organize my coupons while watching reality TV? I seriously debated for like an hour of what I wanted to do. Am I lazy or just tired? I know I'm tired that's for sure! So I ended up going to dinner with a new guy and his son. Nothing fancy just casual but it was a great time so I'm glad I went! Then I went over to another friends house for some late night cuddles. hehe We wont get into those details. So it was a good night, but LATE and now I just want to go home and organize my coupons and go to bed at 9pm. But back to mommy land so I have to cook and finish laundry, then wrestle a monkey to bed. Hope he is in a good mood. Little stinker is moody- those terrible two's are kicking in at times. But I still look forward to our nightly cuddles. Best part of my day! Around 8 we settled onto the couch and snuggle, him with his milk and blanky and me in my pjs. I just love it! Wonder if he will still do this when he's 4 or 5? He is a very cuddly dude so I hope so! Helps mommy destress.
Ok back to work. haha

OK here it goes. I shall blog at least once a week! Writing helps me in so many ways, so why not! Also, I want to find new and old friends on here, so add me! So I'm sure I'll talk a lot on here about my dating debacles. LOL As a 27 year old single mom who works full time it is very hard to date. To say the least. I find lots of guys who want to hook up of course cause I'm hot. LOL Well I tell myself that anyway. Not sure if my baby weight and sweet c-section scar is attracting the men. Oh wait my son is 2 next month, I cant say baby weight anymore. How about toddler weight? Anyway, life is crazy and busy. I feel exhausted a lot. I just need down time and I only have it Tue nights when my x takes our son. Then I try to squeeze practice, a date, a bath, relaxing chill time, dinner, and cleaning up house all into like 5-7 hours in the evening after work. Its to much! Sadly, derby usually comes last. For several reasons I suppose. Ok I'm going to try to figure out how to search people on here. I know several of my friends have family blogs. So help- add me!